Ok so I am really pissed off today! Not only did I gain back that 10 pounds I lost on the Master Cleanse (whoever said sperm has no calories was WRONG WRONG WRONG) AND I've been fired from my teaching job! Yes, apparently some old bag complained to managment that I wasn't 'experienced enough' as a teacher for her. She told management she wanted someone with more 'life experience; and possibly kids. Like she would know an experienced yoga teacher if one jumped up and did Kappalabhati breathing all over her! Bitch!
I mean come on! I've been practising yoga for nearly a year now, how much more experience could you want? Some of these other so-called yoga teacher ho's have taken one or two classes, max. So it's a career choice for yummy mummies who haven't got anything better to do? I'm so NOT going to be a yoga teacher... I mean I love getting up there all buff and toned and tanned and telling everyone what to do and shit, but once everyone starts in on the gig. FORGET IT!
Mind you, people do hit on you, men, women, old guys, you name it, they all love a hottie in Prana...
So maybe I won't give up just yet.
My ticket is booked to Mysore. I fly out of here 1st class on 1st May. I didn't write a letter. Fuck that shit. I'm going to walk in there and just say "do you know who I am?"
Kidding. I wrote the letter and am hoping to stay in some dive called The Southern Star. If anyone has stayed there recently, let me know, I'm not going to end up in some godforsaken flea pit in downtown Gokulum... I want hot water, I want fluffy towels, I want vintage Beavis and Butthead on cable...
BL
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154 comments:
You must have a damned good sugar daddy if you're flying first class. I've never even flown business class! But then I'm small. How do tall guys cope with coach? I'll never know.
Southern Star is VERY comfortable for Mysore. AC. No squat toilets. Lovely.
Yes, we Yummy Mummies have the edge, no doubt. The single gals look to me as a life guru, you know? Like someone who might teach them how to bag a rich guy, pop out some attractive offspring and then quit the rat race. Teaching yoga is just a chance for me to stand in front of girls about whom I can say, "There but for the grace of God go I" and then proceed to tell them what to do and for how long.
My advice is stop swallowing sperm because no one is going to buy the cow if they get the milk for free. I don't know what you're going to India for - you're not going to meet a rich guy there, for sure. Not even flying first class.
Hey!
I could do a fund raiser for you.
You probably need a good bake sale:)
Gotta pay for your fluffy towels and non squatting
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You crack me up so much. Honey I love your blog and your sense of humour.
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Where are you? Please post from Mysore. I'm still LMAO after reading your blog all through.
BTW, are you Rosebud?
No, she's cheri.
Cheri's dead. Who are you talking about anyway.
Bad Lady, I hope you enjoy the Boy as much as I did. Maybe he will love you 4ever and not leave you for the next ho he sees.
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