MoooooooonDay

Flatsie is so traditional -- she eats a saatvic diet and practices wearing only a tiny hand-loom cotton loincloth that's smaller than a thong and held in place with string, just like the Brahmins used to wear. It's a riot to watch her practice -- especially in shoulderstand! -- because she is anything BUT a "Flatsie" in the chest department. I guess that makes her an oxymoron.

I told her this and she pouted and pointed to the book she was reading. I don't think it translated quite right to Russian. She got over it pretty quickly though.

After that I started to practise. But Miss Traditional wouldn't budge on a moon day. Instead she reclined on the divan and smoked those stinky Russian cigarettes and read to me while I did my asanas (pink rug today).

The book she read was Gulliver's Travels, which I'd always thought was a children's cartoon. But apparently it's based on an actual book. Flatsie said it was written in 1726 but I'm pretty sure she was lying.

Plus the story she read was so stupid I found it hard to concentrate and only changed outfits once (Lulu to Be Present, in case you're wondering).

So this Gulliver person landed on a pair of islands where all of these tiny people lived. One of the islands was named after Lilias Foran, and everyone on the islands was about six inches tall. They didn't know what to make of the giant Gulliver, so they captured him. And then there was some kind of war going on. These two islands were warring over what has to be by far the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Half of them thought a hard-boild egg should be eaten from the large end.

The other half thought it should be from the small end.

See what I mean?

How STUPID, to be divided over egg-eating.

IT MADE ME SO MAD TO HEAR THAT WHEN I WAS TRYING TO PULL UP IN KARANDAVASANA I ALMOST STOPPED PRACTISING.

Yet there's a whole chapter about it, and it goes on and on and on.

I'm sorry, but I just can't suspend my disbelief that much. No way would people get riled up about something so trivial -- even if the people were really small and had nothing else to think about, like in the book. It just doesn't add up. But the two nations were permanently at war over it.

What I REALLY can't believe is that kind of crapola is in a book, and people would actually read it.

I wonder where it ranks on Amazon.

I wonder where MY book would rank on Amazon.

Ha -- I feel kind of inspired now. But Flatsie's here, and it would be so mean to ask her to leave. She might get kidnapped again. Besides, we have so many fun things planned -- so much debauchery! Stay tuned!